The Mundane

   I hate it when the mundane things in life take over your spiritual time. Without blame on the mundane, it is actually my fault. This week has been hectic. My husband was taking an important exam, my son came down with a cold, and I was completely mesmerized by the after New Year’s sales. I am only human.


   That is the beauty of this spiritual journey I am on. Sometimes I am right on (riding in the wagon), and other times the wagon is not even visible from where I stand. But I realized that fasting has really cured most of my ‘way off track’ moments. On any given week I am fasting at least two days a week. So if the normalcy called life happens, I still have something that keeps me in check. When a fasting day comes along, I am again reminded, that I am here on this earth for a purpose. For me, fasting makes me feel closer to that purpose. When I wake up in the morning to start my fast I know that this act is purely for God and for my spiritual well being. Why else would someone restrict the lawful pleasures of life? I am reminded every second of the day that Allah (swt) has sent us so many blessings and that while going through our routine, we forget. When we break that routine, we begin to realize how lucky we are to even have a routine. I now appreciate the mundane. Simple things like my morning cup of tea and a stroll with my baby through the neighborhood bring so much pleasure. They bring happiness because I know I get reward for appreciating Allah(swt) gifts. The more that I am conscious of my blessings the more I am in touch with my spirituality. One should always be in a state of genuine consciousness whether it is while eating, while interacting with people, or even while relaxing at the end of the day. Your sense of purpose will be that much closer. We all fall off the wagon in search of our purpose, this is normal. Just own it. So next time you see me rummaging through the sale at Bloomingdales, just know that I am probably trying to convince myself that my purpose in life today is to find the perfect sunglasses for my weekend getaway.

Wake Up

Yes. And Yes. That will be my answer if you ask me if I am hungry or thirsty. I am supposed to be hungry, I am fasting. But please don’t let that throw you off. And please try to look beyond that. I do. I am trying to test my limits and sometimes one has to do something drastic to wake up one’s heart.


A few years ago I was getting ready to start my first year of medical school and was desperately trying to wedding plan (yes, that is a verb) all while trying to maintain a meaningful long distance relationship with my then fiancé. I would wake up in the morning thinking of what books I needed to buy for the new school year, and what kind of invitations I wanted. I realized very quickly that I did not have time for my spirit. As hard as that was to admit, it was the truth. I was so enveloped in my worldly activities I had put my religious activities on the back burner. I was consumed with the idea of the perfect flower arrangements, the most elegant bridal gown, and the tastiest lobster bisque (I didn’t even know what lobster bisque was but I was convinced that I had to have it at my wedding).

I spent hours preoccupied with these thoughts, yet when it was time to complete my five daily prayers I would be praying as if my prayer rug was on fire. This pattern continued for a while until one day I was performing my Isha prayer and suddenly I felt a sense of panic. I could not breathe. It was as if someone had taken my lungs and decided to use them as stress balls. I realized I was having a panic attack.

After many weeks of coping with these new attacks I realized that Allah (swt) was trying to wake up my heart. My heart had to beat hard within so I could remember that it was there. It was neglected and it was in need of my care. Those few weeks of panic attacks made me realize that I had forgotten my values and my priorities. It was time for a change. I reluctantly gave up on my dream of a three-flavor four-tier wedding cake, and I began to focus on my relationship, my school, and my heart. I knew I had to do something drastic to wake up my heart. I had to go cold turkey and I did not look back. When I finally did have my wedding, it was beautiful. It was beautiful in the fact that I was marrying a great person, my entire family was present, and there was a sense of tranquility that only Allah (swt) could provide. I realized those were the only ingredients that I truly needed for a perfect wedding. After all, lobster bisque isn’t that good anyway--right?

Image Courtesy of: http://www.finessefotos.com/images/wedding_cake.jpg

Deep Within

   Instinctively, a sick animal resorts to fasting. It realizes that its health is compromised so it retires to somewhere calm and secluded and abstains from eating. Instinctively. But where has our instinct gone? The more physically, psychologically, and emotionally sick we get, the more we eat. This defies our nature. Allah (swt) supplied us with an inner voice. Most people have stifled it to a mere whisper. In some it has become silent. We need to retrain ourselves, to once more, hear our inner voice. If we were to genuinely listen, we would hear something completely different than what we have been accustomed to hearing. Most of us have trained ourselves to believe that ‘taking a pill’ is the solution when we are physically, psychologically or emotionally unbalanced. We go about abusing our bodies, pouring in toxins, be it through food, environment, or thoughts; and we do not want to accept responsibility for our toxicity. Instead we think that it is not our fault that we are not at our optimal health, “Oh it is the Qadar(will) of Allah (swt)”, we say to ourselves. While everything is by the will of Allah (swt), we need to stop justifying sickness. Sickness is not a normal part of life. Say that with me now. Sickness is not a normal part of life. As shocking as that concept may be, Allah (swt) created our bodies to withstand harsh environments, harmful microbes, and even the intentional or unintentional things we do to our bodies. But there comes a point. A red line, if you will. And we have crossed that red line. Used and abused. And we need to stop. We need to take responsibility for our health and realize that we do have a critical role in our vitality, and honestly—all we have to do is listen to our inner conscience. I am not saying that we need to go out and try to change all aspects of our lives. All I am saying is that Allah (swt) has supplied us with a precious tool within and we should take advantage of its benefits. Next time when you are not feeling well, please dig deep and listen; and you will realize that your inner conscience is definitely not telling you to “go ahead, have that third helping of dinner”, rather, it is probably telling you, “rest, relax, do not abuse your senses, and take it easy on that fried chicken”.

Silence is Golden

  Two ears one mouth. We were told in grade school that this was a sign from God that we should listen more and talk less. Although a commendable quality, most of us don’t follow this school of thought. Everyone desires to be heard, yet we have little interest in listening. A paradox.
   We are encouraged not to engage in excessive talk while fasting. Obviously, one is not going to go throughout the day giving quick responses to questions just to avoid talking. Rather, the point is that maybe we can train ourselves not to misuse our time in vain talk. Being a woman, I am very aware that gossip is the main course at most social events. It is almost a struggle to entertain ourselves with something else. I am not just talking about talk that involves defaming another person. I am speaking of excessive conversations about the latest trends, the newest celebrity couple, or even the 101 annoying traits of our husbands. Even this sort of talk has an effect on our soul and decays our hearts slowly.

That is why when I started my fast I thought of this Hadith Qudsey (I cannot attest to the authenticity of it but, nonetheless, I found it to be inspiring):

In the narration of the Prophet's heavenly journey (Me'raj) the following has been narrated:

"O' Ahmad! Do you comprehend the outcome of fasting? 'No.' Replied the Holy Prophet [s]. 'The outcome of fasting is less eating and less talking.' Replied Allah, then explained the outcome of silence and less speaking as follows:


'The result of silence is wisdom; the result of wisdom is enlightenment; the result of enlightenment is certainty; and when a person attains the Exalted spiritual position of certainty, then he does not care how he starts his day, whether with ease or hardship, and tragedy or comfort. Such is the state of those who have attained the position of content, and whoever attains this position acquires three inseparable characteristics: thanks (shukr) not contaminated with ignorance, invocation, not mixed with forgetfulness and love not mixed with the love of others.'

So maybe enlightenment is not so far away after all.

The Contemplation

   My mind is so crisp. My thoughts so vivid. I can clearly feel serenity in the distance. It feels like the quiet after a warm rainstorm. I cannot feel more at peace. I reflect on the day's events as I watch the sun disappear languidly below the horizon. How I wish to be entangled in the bright oranges and pinks in the sky. As if I were looking at an orange and raspberry sorbet just waiting to dip my spoon. My hunger pangs are momentarily forgotten and replaced by gratitude and humility. “Oh Allah, thank you for the gift of sight, oh Allah, thank you for the gift of insight in which I am able to appreciate your bounties”, I quietly say under my breath.

   I reach for a moist date and slowly bring it to my mouth, I can already smell the sweetness and I anticipate the flavor. Yes, so sweet. I feel a rush as the sugar from the date permeates my blood. I can almost feel the heat as my body starts to adjust to being fed after a long abstinence from food. How can something so simple give so much joy? We are truly blessed, yet we are so greedy. This avarice stems from the yearning to find acceptance. We think, “If only I had … I would be happy, I would be acknowledged by others”. At this moment, I feel no greed, I feel no desire for worldly things, I just feel Allah’s grace. Oh, how I wish time would stop. Will you not just stand still? Please… And just as quickly as the feeling came, it went, I was once again reminded of my humanness. The growling of my empty stomach brought me out of my deep thought, and I knew I was limited by my desires. And I was saddened by that thought that maybe I will never be able to reach this peak of contemplation again.

Zero-nourishment = Food?

Day one. Feeling great. I find myself asking “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”, but then I remind myself that Allah (swt) starts a person on a specific path at a specific time in a person's life. Alhamdulillah, for me, that time is now. I began today by having suhur (predawn meal) according to what the prophet (pbuh) said, "Eat Suhur. Surely, there is a blessing in Suhur.'' [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. This hadith makes me realize the mercy of the prophet (pbuh). The prophet made it sunnah for us to eat before our fast, subhanallah! He could have not even mentioned the pre-dawn meal thus no one would be encouraged to get up before fajr and nourish themselves. But because the prophet (pbuh) wishes to make things easier on us, he stressed the importance of suhur. Wow, the enlightenment has begun :) .

Actually if we are speaking of enlightenment, last night, my husband said something that was surprisingly enlightening. Not surprising because it was enlightening, but rather because it made me think that living in this country has really twisted our image of food and nourishment. While eating out last night, I quickly grabbed drinks not knowing that they were diet drinks. After we both had finished our meals, my husband looked at the can and said, “This is diet? That means basically it was a waste, I got no calories out of this?” That comment stuck with me throughout the night. Advertisers and food corporations have made us believe that we do want food with zero calories. Doesn’t that seem like an oxymoron to you? However, we now just want to stuff our faces (for lack of a better term) for the purpose of stuffing our faces. What happened to the idea of food as being a nourishing and healing aspect in our lives? Now, we just want to eat and have it nullified. We need to start looking at food in the way that the prophet (pbuh) looked at food. In the book, Healing with the Medicine of the Prophet (pbuh), by Ibn Al-Qayyim, It is very clear in his writings that we should be conscious eaters. What I mean by this is that everything that goes into our mouths should have a purpose. For example when you have your breakfast eggs keep in mind that the “egg yolk is the most adequate substance against the diseases that affect the essence of the soul” (257), and surely you will be rewarded for your intention. I mean, honestly, is a twinkie going to do anything for your body or soul? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a rich fudgy brownie from time to time, but I like to think that when I do have one my intention is, right now, I am feeding my soul through chocolate :).

Image Courtsey of : www.coggles.com/store/list/Junk%20Food/129/W

...with a single step

First step. I am not big on New Year's resolutions; I do not like the idea of waiting to make a change. I believe that once the motivation hits, just start. And even if the motivation doesn't hit, just start and the motivation will follow. However, my fasting journey is beginning on the 1st of January and I am not about to object. Hey, why not? Let me have a New Year's resolution this year, I anticipate no harm. Actually, it is rather nice. Nice in the fact that I am giving myself one full year for this phase of my spiritual journey.

   So here we are, January 1st, the official start of my fasting Journey, and it is a "White Day". I am definitely fasting, right? Wrong. I was supposed to fast today. I did not fast. I will elaborate, but let me first get back to explaining the concept of the "White Days". The "White Days" are the 13th, 14th and 15th of each month on the Hijri Calendar and based on many ahadith it is a recommended time for fasting. There are different opinions on why these days are named the "White Days"; one opinion is that these days occur in the middle of the lunar month, therefore the moon appears all night--hence the name "White Days". Another opinion, as stated by Sheikh Atiyyah Saqr of Al-Azhar, is that these were the days in which Allah (swt) granted forgiveness to Prophet Adam and whitened his book of deeds. Whatever the reason is, I intend on fasting these days for the pure reason that it is a recommendation of the Prophet (pbuh).

--Now back to why I did not fast today--

   Today is Friday. And Fridays are like mini holidays for Muslims, similar to a quick carwash as opposed to a full service one(???)--Anyway, It is not recommended to fast on Fridays unless you fast a day before or a day after. So I will be starting my fast on Monday. Why Monday? Well, my plan, based on the calendar above, is to fast Mondays and Thursdays, The "White Days", extra days in the month of Shaaban, The obligatory fast of the month of Ramadan, the six days of Shawal, The day of Arafat, and the day of Ashurah. Phew! What a mouthful, or rather, an empty mouthful. I will go into more detail in the days to come. But for now, I am starting on Monday, and that is my first step.

Image courtsey of: http://z.about.com/d/goflorida/1/0/2/B/sandfootprints.jpg